Daily weigh-ins are not typically advised on any weight loss program. Yeah, the Mean Nurse doesn’t give a rat’s ass about typical. Daily weigh-ins work. Why? Because it keeps you fucking accountable.
My godmother has weighed herself on a daily basis since she was a teenager. She allowed herself a three-pound gain at any one time before she’d take steps to take it off. That woman has weighed roughly the same for 60 years (a few pounds… LESS THAN 10!!!….have crept on over the past few decades). She attributes this phenomenon to daily weights. After doing exactly that for myself over the past year, and seeing a steady decline, I’d say she’s right!
Here’s what I recommend for everyone. Get a digital scale. Weigh yourself daily. Track weight loss ONLY on an app for your smartphone. I like MyFitnessPal. Record only those numbers where you see weight loss. The line graph on this app gives you a positive visual of the downward movement towards your goal. It does not matter how long it takes you to get to your goal, just as long as you get there. So if you only lose ounces every couple of days, that’s okay. Do you really want to go a week before you discover you’ve gained 5 pounds, which could have been stopped at 2? Allow no more than a two-week plateau or a two-pound gain before you take measures to get yourself back on track.
Now for food journals. Hate them. Why? Because they remind me of something a mother would do…. constantly monitor every little thing that goes into a kid’s mouth. In the past, I’ve had to keep a food journal for some commercial asinine weight loss program whose spiel I believed. I’ve had to record the time, date, mood, location(?), my thoughts and finally WHAT, I consumed. So when a food journal looks like this…..
Breakfast: 7 a.m. 1 piece of toast, standing over the sink, pissed off because I poked myself in the eye with my mascara wand and pissed because I have to eat breakfast on this stupid plan when I’m not hungry and breakfast makes me sick unless it’s at 10, but that’s the time for the flippin’ mid-morning snack. I can’t eat a vegetable at this hour or protein, because I absolutely will throw up.
Midmorning snack: 10:30 a.m. Walking from my kitchen to my computer. 12 grapes, which should have been 9 but I’m not leaving 3 grapes in the refrigerator because that would be cruel to my daughter. I really don’t care for fruit much, but I have to eat something I don’t like to lose weight, jeez that sounds really stupid.
Lunch: 2:30 p.m. Tuna out of the can sprinkled with balsamic vinegar, still not hungry, but I’m eating this anyway because I’m supposed to. Is a can of tuna, one serving of protein or two I wonder? Green beans, 1/2 bag frozen @ 3:30 p.m. Couldn’t eat the beans with the tuna because BLECH!, and these were the only veggie I had on hand because I’m saving the others for dinner, so I had to wait.
Midafternoon snack: I think that was the beans. Standing in the kitchen. Probably should have had more to eat by now, but I’m drinking coffee and water. Eyeing a banana because I should eat another piece of fruit. Why do I have to eat something when I’m not hungry? Seems stupid. Animals don’t do that.
Dinner: 7 p.m. Finally hungry. Breaking the “no eating after 6p rule” most plans advocate, but what if I’m not hungry until then and I go to bed at 1a.m.? Plus, learned to eat dinner later from living in Europe and that really works with my body clock. Fuck it, I’m eating. Sitting in livingroom watching Ed Show because diningroom table is covered in sewing and daughter not home. 1/2 grilled chicken breast, tri-color pepper mix plus more onions, mushrooms, zucchini and yellow squash, tossed in red-wine vinegar and BUTTER, yeah, that’s right… BUTTER!
…. and a weight loss counselor says “you need to sit down at the table and take time out for yourself and really think about the food you’re eating and not do ANOTHER THING while you’re eating — like standing over the sink……,” I want to smack them. I do not need another mother. I do not need someone standing over me (the food journal), watching every little crumb that I put in my mouth. I do not have time to sit and write down my feelings about what I’m eating, because I do not want to EAT MY FEELINGS. I want to EAT MY FOOD. If I have to think about my feelings when I’m eating, I’m going to “feel” like eating chocolate or my go-to comfort food, macaroni and cheese.
It comes down to this: You ONLY need one bitch slap a day and that’s the scale. Start your day off with it, and it will set you right. You’ll either be soooo happy and ready to buy your scale flowers, or be soooo pissed off that you’ll make better choices THE REST OF THE DAY. Start your day off with the motivation it takes to honor your commitment to yourself. You don’t have to look back at your food journal to see where you went wrong. When you see that extra 2 pounds on the scale, I PROMISE YOU that you’ll remember exactly what you ate. You are allowed to swear at that point. (My scale knows lots of bad words in lots of languages.)
Now, relax, and just don’t do anything to piss yourself off tomorrow too.
- Top Five Bathroom Scales For Weight Loss (pebblegrey.co.uk)